There are those like my poor ould fella, who is still more or less with us all, then there are those much further along this rocky road who are just there, in a body that has forgotten what it is about. Neither of these groups are dementia aware, and that is a blessing.
I feel for those who have this disease, and KNOW that they have it. They can look on google and find out what is happening - that is the cruel part.
Anyway, 2 year ago I would never have thought to be writing a blog like this, never have thought that dementia would be such a huge part of my life.
What is it really like?
For him it's not too bad, he is happy enough, he has absolutely no responsibilities for anything any more. He goes to play snooker and bowls, and shopping for the never ending peach and passion fruit yoghurts at Aldi. Sometimes there is a real break through and he comes home with a bunch of flowers for me - something reminds him that he used to do this every week....
He is in a 'bubble' of his own world.
This guy who never wanted a TV - now looks forwards with anticipation to Wallace and Gromit's "Wrong Trousers" yesterday - mind you it is hilarious!
What about me? What about me....
He looked after me, he was the 'man of the house' and I loved being cared for in that way. Now I do everything. It is the remembering that is the worst - and that is nothing whatsoever to do with any old dementia.
I have to remember to order all his multitudinous medicines, remember to order all the supplies needed for his stoma care, remember to order our Tesco delivery, and everything we might need. Ordering everything with different time scales to make sure everything is here as and when needed.
I am lonely - that is the worse part, I am lonely and I am disappointed. We are both getting older now, and probably don't have masses of years ahead, and after everything that has happened in my life, I did not expect this curved ball.
But neither did he.
My brain is still ticking over, and keeping active with my work, his brain is like a clock winding down.
Right, that is the last of these blogs till next year's Dementia Awareness Week - let's see what that will bring.
There is joy, great joy in life, sometimes we have to look for it. I see it in my children and my lovely grandchildren, and feel blessed indeed. I see it in the flowers, the colour of life, the green of a tree, the birds, and, of course, the hedgehogs that visit my garden every night.
And that is what keeps us going, keeps everyone in this treacherous situation going.
Love, colour, joy and smiles. That's it, smiles
Catch you next year....
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